aka Andrea’s mini-meltdown. Let’s just say, I get great communication outside of regular sessions, and have a very patient coach 😉

Date: Tue, January 29, 2013 1:30 am

Hi Stacy,

I’ve been looking at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology program for Certificate for Industrial and Organizational Psychology Generalist, or their MA in Organizational Leadership. The first would satisfy me in terms of having that relatively quick certification to illustrate a concrete ability to offer what it is I’m interested in doing, though the MA (“…distinction between a manager and a leader—between someone who merely assigns tasks, and someone who paints a vision and inspires employees to work effectively toward achieving it.”) is more clearly along the lines of what I’m interested in.

What I’m curious to decide and what I want to ask you, is whether this is like Chiropractic, where I needed a Chiro, believed in it, so I fell into it as a career. As I’ve said, I wonder if where I am now is guiding my next choice (because of what’s lacking here and the focus of my irritation), instead of me being able to separately discern what I’M meant to do and be. I don’t want to fall into Organizational Leadership and find out it’s not right either.

Make sense…? I generally know myself, but I don’t trust my instincts when it comes to spending money on school. haha

Cheers, A

Date: Tue, January 29, 2013 10:29 pm

Hi Andrea,

Thanks for writing. I’m sensing that you are seeking the escape route and so it’s alluring to grab on to something concrete as your ticket out. There are 2 things you must know to make an effective decision. 1) Know yourself.  (Use your goal form). We want to uncover and articulate all the previous blind spots, patterns, and that which will motivate you for authentic fulfillment. 2) Know your options. This requires brainstorming and research that goes beyond face value. There are 3 stages to this kind of research: ………

Stacy reiterated steps I will take to investigate careers along the way.

Wow that’s a long answer! Does that help? In short, I think you need more information to gain the certainty of direction you are striving for. This cannot be a hasty decision. Formal education does add credit, but it’s not a guaranteed ticket. …….

Have a good night! Stacy

Date: Tue, January 29, 2013


One reason I’m confused over this is because I’ve also been watching a lot of home decorating shows on television and I cannot tell you how happy I’d be if what I got to do was discover/pick out/design/buy home decor and choose colors and patterns, and rearrange furniture (without the burden of whiny customer service sapping clients, to be honest).  I’m so torn (between the aesthetic and the managerial).


A day later I sent my coach an article from Psychology Today entitled
Living a Lie, with profiles of at least one lady who made a big career change.

Date: Thu, January 31, 2013


Sadly, I know often I’m doing the opposite of what I “want” and should do, but proceed anyway.  I know I won’t get the outcome I want, but I still resent that I don’t.  Unfortunately I believe someone said that’s the definition of insanity? hahaha



I think we should talk in more detail about your timeline for transition and future plans. Do you remember we touched on this? I advise stripping down the outer layers of “I can’t” and drive home to the bottom line of clear, pure choices.  Before we started coaching you had said you are not willing to choose an option that requires sacrifice and suffering. I wonder if your position has been shifting at all?


Date: Sun, February 3, 2013


Truthfully, Stacy, I had the energy to make big changes and moves and start new things up until 8 years ago or so, but the problems of private practice and what it’s like here has literally sucked that out of me. I have flashes of interest and motivation in things, but I cannot maintain them. When I contemplate “leaping” now (which I used to love and be good at!), all I feel is instant energy suck and tired resentment that leaping hasn’t gotten me to better places in ages. Add to that the reality that I literally cannot afford it… I can’t leap from 24k a year to 35k a year to 26k a year jobs like I did back when it was fun to leap.

I don’t pay rent, taxes or daily bills here but my salary goes virtually entirely into student loans, back taxes and my former clinic….  I would have to make CONSIDERABLY more, from day 1, to drop what I’m doing now any time soon.  

All that negativity being said…if I found THE THING that made me beside myself excited and fulfilled, I’d leave tomorrow. I think I just don’t want to waste my security (or up my stress level) again on a career (I’m not passionate about). 


Hi Andrea,

Thanks for honestly sharing this. There’s much to say in follow up and I think it’s important enough to spend some time on during our call this Thursday. How are you doing with the homework? 


Date: Mon, February 4, 2013

Hiya Stacy!

I actually haven’t started yet. Not that it’s not interesting, or that I don’t want to do it. Partially because I haven’t felt inspiration strike …like a writers block sort of thing….the ‘write my own retirement speech’ thing threw me.

I don’t like face to face things that make me feel self conscious, or being the center of attention like that (I’d avoid my own wedding and likely wouldn’t want to hear my own obituary either), so I’m working up to it.  If I really get stuck, I might need to reschedule to next week.

This 50 hour work week thing really leaves me wanting to do nothing but sit and stare at a wall during my off time. Wish we worked 40. Or 25.

I wanted to ask, your question about my timeline made me wonder…this is only month two… am I behind? You’ve told me it’s a slow process, and that this can take 6 months or maybe more. Was there another reason to ask about my timeline? Am I moving too slow?

Cheers – A

Hi Andrea,
The timeline I am referring to is your job, particularly with staying at xxxx vs. transitioning into a better career. So, no time limit or anything like that as to your coaching. You’re right – coaching work does take time and is very complex!
I bring up defining a timeline because I hear you shifting rapidly back and forth across a spectrum of staying vs. leaving, practical reality vs. dream. I think this tugs hard on your mind and heart and keeps you in an unsettled place trying to slam the escape button. If you can map out a timeline, say remaining at least 3 more years at xxxx / chiro profession, you might then have some peace about your present struggle. Does this make sense? Let’s talk about it on our call.
Gawd… if there really was an escape button
I would have worn it to a nub in sheer anger ages ago. 🙂

2 Responses to Mini-Meltdown

  1. jmmcdowell says:

    I think it’s easier to make those leaps when a person has a personality that lets life’s bumps and twists just roll off their back. I tend to internalize stress and am, I suspect, overly sensitive to others and my environment. I don’t want to make changes unless I’m sure the situation will be better. I think you’ve done well to seek out professional help in planning out your future!

    • Andrea says:

      ah, thank you 🙂 We handle stress similarly. I can internalize and agonize for days, sometimes months. But with jobs I tend to like to leap and make changes so yes, coaching is definitely a smarter step for me. This time I need to be SURE.

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