My notes for this session are really brief compared to the others. We had a long gap between meeting while I waited seemingly endlessly to be paid (as per usual), but thankfully I’d had tons of homework to complete and talk about.
Observations one or both of us made about my last set of answers is that I really want (need) to find a culture/subculture of others who ask the “why” questions and want to understand (rather than just shoving through things mindlessly or not caring).
My coach addressed again the need for me to address my nagging negative thoughts. If I continued being concerned, lacking confidence in succeeding in this career change endeavor, questioning, it just kicks up doubts and limits me.
The funny thing about me is that I’m optimistic inside, I plan and expect to get my way in the end, but I think I’m so psychologically beaten down by personal and professional failures in the last decade that I often believe the universe isn’t going to allow me happiness or success. I know I’ll change, I know I’ll aim for whats good for me, I just have long established doubts I’ll get what I want in the end.
After making my possible careers mindmap I really felt worried that in order to do the things I’m interested in and would like to pursue, I would need to pursue more education or do internships and other free jobs to gain the experience and qualifications to be hired for jobs I want. Stacy had long ago told me that many people transition into what they want without more higher education. For me what I want and what I know I’m good at aren’t reflected in my resume.
As Stacy said “the job goes to the person who can demonstrate the most value.” Complete sense. So, how do I do that?
- 10 Most important skills
- 10 Least wanted skills
- Mission Statement
- Roast Toast
- Goals editing
When I reviewed the list of skills my coach had sent I was pleasantly surprised with the variety. I thought of skills in terms of concrete things one would put on a resume (Microsoft Office, Pilots license). It was nice to see that skills don’t have to fit that simple mold.
We also discussed my personal mission statement structure, something that weirds me out almost as much as the peak experiences homework, since it seems too personal and puts me in the vulnerable position of feeling like I have to justify what I write to others, if they disagree. Kinda of a silly hangup, I know – especially given the things I’m willing to write in this blog… 🙂
My next bit of homework was to write what would be said about me or by me, at the end of a long, successful, happy career. eek! I would refuse to attend my own wedding if it required me speaking my vows out loud in front of an audience. It’s so uncomfortable. The way my mind works is that if I write this I will think and feel as though I’m actually there, being toasted or roasted or obituaried and how would I feel about it. I’d be embarrassed and uncomfortable. I’d likely cry. Um..no, not so sure I’ll be able to do this one, I told my coach.
I’ll try. (cough cough. Oh, hey! Now sounds like a GREAT time to start that time consuming and distracting blog! cough cough)
My last bit of homework was to look at my goals form and choose the top 5 items in each category that are important to me in this career quest.
I didn’t specifically write down my major learning point for today, but “negative thinking kicks up doubt, limits and gremlins” is circled 5 times, so I’m guess that was it. 🙂
“Stacy had long ago told me that many people transition into what they want without more higher education.”—I think this is a problem for people like you and me who go into specialized fields. I always joke that doctors (whether of medicine or chiropractics) are the most over-trained people to do so little. We can do what we’re trained for, but beyond that, it can be hard to branch out. Most of us don’t have business backgrounds, and if we pursue jobs outside of our domains, we risk being told we’re “over qualified.” That’s why I pursued the master’s of public health. Gave me a means to branch out into nonclinical medicine and research. And then I played hooky for a year to write. 😉
And then you played hooky… So funny. I have lot of experience in other areas. The problem here is a culture of obstruction where people are either afraid of new ideas or try to obstruct you from enacting or getting credit for your ideas. This should be the perfect place to branch out, but its not. You’re entirely right about being ignored as overqualified. The other day I interviewed in another department and offered ideas/suggestions. Yesterday the manager announced “her” new project (my research, my idea) that she’s conveniently scheduled for after I leave on vacation, and then instructed ME to update another doctor on my info and research so she can present it instead. Gob.Smacked! And a westerner in a nonclinical job/department did this! (With a monster lecture for which I’m applying to the government to give for ed. credits to other professionals) In some cultures you cannot branch out or try to be innovative because you’ll be shoved off the boat so someone else can reap the benefits. (Can you tell I just woke up still irritable about this?)
I would be irritable over that as well. And that’s putting it mildly. Talk about stealing the rug out from right under you.
I’m trying to not react and look objectively at it. Maybe she’s just unaware of some boundaries? Maybe I presented it as “no big deal” or made it sound like a simple thing? Maybe she truly thinks everything is community property here. I mean, it IS and I intend to get the info out, but one doesn’t appropriate other people’s work like that. I feel like if I sit down and explain how I feel about this I’ll inevitably be the bad guy and considered the “cause” of a problem rather than someone who was effected by one. Just not sure.
Sounds like this coaching is paying off. 🙂
That is my usual thought process, except that I usually don’t wait so long to point out to someone that they’re inconsiderate. Maybe I’m learning patience? hahaha coaching hasn’t made me any less baffled by other people’s behavior.
I’ll add archaeology as another specialized field that seems to have limited applicability to other careers. 😉 When I was a graduate student, my assistantship for 2 years was being the undergraduate advisor for the department. I encouraged the students to double major or minor in something else they also enjoyed in case they decided they didn’t want to do the required Masters (at least) and Doctorate for traditional teaching/research positions. They would be better prepared for other jobs in case they decided anthropology wasn’t for them.
Exactly! Very smart! Did they follow your advice? Specialized fields can be problematic. Then again I’ve met people with cool jobs and when I ask their education they say its something highly specific and entirely in a different arena. Sometimes I think it’s just luck that gets them “in.”