Hello wordpressosphere! I haven’t been keeping up with the Blogardashians well lately, because of a combination of work and my efforts to set up this blog as a self hosted site.  I have SO many ideas, I can SEE what/how I want the site to work but just. can’t. seem. to. get. there.

Thanks to my ridiculous brain power and years of book learnin’ it is only taking me, like, weeks upon friggin weeks to figure it all out.

In fact if anyone who reads this is familiar with self hosting, local hosting with MAMP, moving from server to server, WordPress and Pagelines…golly I’d joyfully accept any amount of skype advice or assistance you might offer.  Even if it’s just a virtual shoulder to blubber on.

Apparently I’m fluent in SciFi but I do NOT speak geek.  CSS is a mystery.  FTP client? WHAT is that? I feel like I learned all this once, took a vacation, and forgot it all.  sigh.

All I wanted was to be able to control where things go, how big they are, what color they are, have access to plugins. You know… learn web page stuff and be able to customize my shizz with the awesome sauce of my imagination.  I thought having wordpress.org, access to plugins and a very expensive design framework from Pagelines would give me at least what my inexperienced-ness was asking for, but I err. 

Maybe I need another blog following the progress of me trying to figure this all out so that I can blog about the process of career change?  A blog within a blog? The magic eye, escher drawing blog of my daydreams?  That might last longer than my career change process alone.  hahaha.  Gah! I need to be tech-y-er! So far not one teensy bit of page customization has worked the way I try to set it up.  So far everything I want to do requires custom CSS changes. 

CSS looks like math.  We are at an impasse.  I generally don’t let math win, but am trying to be flexible.

So… anywhoooo. Sorry (to my 3.46 readers) I’m not around, but I wanted to make sure the page was slow when I did the migration to self hosting, so no comments would be lost or confusion occur.  My mistake was assuming the confusion wouldn’t be mine, or that the move would happen quickly.  Baahahahahahaha. Pickle.

Hopefully I (and by “I” I mean some guru at wordpress who I pay to relieve me of the stress) will get this page moved to self hosting, with a handy redirect link, asap. It will look all lame and white and boo hiss boring until I can start to understand the customizations. 

And certainly before that happens I will have consumed 8 more gallons of double chocolate icecream in weepy defeat during reruns of NCIS I’m so in love with Mark Harmon and Michael Weatherly.

It might not be obvious from what I’ve written, but I’m actually having some amount of fun doing this, learning a bit and slowly but slooooowwwwllly coming to understand. But it is very hard being here alone without the ability to ask questions or get guidance from an actual human not inside the Google machine.  I’m starting to wonder if I know any humans who aren’t entirely inside the Google machine. Are any of you real? Do I sound like I’ve gone mad?

4 Responses to I Will Defeat You, Dastardly Tech Stuff!

  1. Nope, none of us are really real out here, we’re all part of the machine. 🙂 We just moved my husband’s business WordPress site from one self-hosted service to another. Moved it to Rackspace. Way too much geek talk for me. Some geeky things I do like, but not that stuff. Rackspace staff were great at taking over and doing the needed things when we didn’t know how. The hosting is far more pricey, but it’s under my husband’s business. I like to learn new things but sometimes if there’s big potential for adverse effect (my husband’s site was down for days at one point) and you’re only going to use it once, we figured it’s better to have “them” do it. I picked up on HTML very easily (waaay back in the beginning of the Internet’s take-off!) but I don’t “connect” with CSS for some reason. And for his site, we are going to need some CSS customization to do what we want. I figure I’ll look for a freelance person on sites like odesk or elance to help with small projects like that. So … I empathize but cannot help! I know that’s not any help …

    • Andrea says:

      i KNEW it! hahaha.

      It’s okay, I didn’t expect anyone would see it who was really on top of all these things as much as I need. They’d all be off reading tech-y-er blogs! CSS… I somewhat get it, or the idea. Kinda. Sorta. But I’m terrified I’ll paste something where it’s not supposed to be and blow up the internet accidentally. CSS has so many inexplicable spaces, and indents. It was unnerving enough trying to find the right page to enter my server and id and password. It’s harder when help websites post solutions, but some of the steps assume you know HOW to do the step. I need a for-dummies site. Actually, how hilarious would it be to have a youtube tutorial channel videotaping my screen while I’m fumbling through this process trying to understand. If I curse enough, it could go viral.

      There’s something about html to pick up? See how behind I am?!

      • Oh don’t worry about HTML so much now. I think CSS is where it’s at. My husband and I found the most hilarious youtube video of some guys showing how to replace a sump pump battery. Every other word was f*ck! Really good to know what we were getting into — we understood why when we did it! We had to wait for our stomachs to stop hurting from all the laughing first. Their pain made it easier for us! 🙂 Like they’d be happy to hear that …

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