I’m forever not remembering to do the prep-sheet prior to each visit, so when I sent it before the 10th session, I also sent my notes on peak/flow state activities, for which I still couldn’t come up with a list.
Stacy,
Generally the happiest I am is when I’m daydreaming or doing/buying something new (and the last can be attributed to endorphins). Then again, if I could be a buyer for clothes/homes maybe that would be the happiness ticket.
Must run – work!
A
My session followup email from Stacy outlined my homework (letting go, values, goal form), as always, and included attachments including the copyrighted goal form I would fill in and we would use to put together my overall picture and goal.
She also re-stated the strengths evident from my accomplishments exercise that she’d listed for me on the 10th: “strong, determined, resilient, persistent, funny, highly intelligent, independent, brave, searching, trying to do the right thing, expressive, flourishing interests, super creative, intellectually diverse, resourceful, endure & thrive, adventurous, always learning, visionary, curious, inquisitive, imaginative, see possibilities others can’t. This is the truth and it’s very valuable!”
Aww shucks, Stacy.
What do I need to let go of?
I have this form sitting in front of me, but it’s not filled in. I also cannot find an email where I answered the questions. Odd, considering I have SO much to let go of.
Subject: question
From: “Ignacio, Andrea” <>
Date: Thu, December 13, 2012 3:29 am
To: “Stacy”
Hi~
I’m working on the Values Exercise first since it’s the simplest…
I feel uncertain whether I’m supposed to answer the questions regarding work, professional stuff, or just in general. I’m coming up with a lot of personal answers and pet peeves and ‘my stuff’, you know? It doesn’t feel professionally oriented. What am I saying? I feel like I’m creating a whiny “I don’t like people and want a perfect atmosphere where everybody does what I want” scenario, which isn’t really what I want, it’s just a reflection of this place, if that makes sense. Is that common for clients?
Cheers,A
From: stacy
Sent: Thursday, December 13, 2012 6:04 PM
To: Ignacio, Andrea
Subject: RE: question
Hi Andrea,
It might be easier if you answer each question in two parts A) personal perspective B) professional perspective. Go with what is true for you and we’ll sort it out.
To answer your question, yes, you are certainly not alone when answering with a huge influence from your current work environment. (Other clients are the same) While this should be honored, we must also dig deeper to the desired tasks and content of the work because ultimately, a happy shiny environment won’t keep you happy forever if you dislike the day to day tasks. Make sense?
Thanks for asking! Stacy
Hi Stacy,
Thank you… It all makes sense. I’m still struggling with the section on values.
What if I know what my values are, but can’t really explain simply why? Or if my values didn’t come from happy times, but from lessons learned? Can I skip the “happy” step?
My summer in Maui was a great time….the weather never varied from perfect, it was low stress, the food was healthy AND tasty, I could wear minimal clothes. It felt right and not a constant struggle against people and the planet. But it’s hard to find work there. On the other hand my 6 years in Dallas were hell on earth. The WORST environment for me, but plenty o’work. I can’t afford to be professionally and personally content, if it doesn’t pay the bills, but I refuse to work in a place that makes me feel sick again. Also value-wise I can’t get myself to put CASH as a value priority. I want stability, freedom and beauty, but not cash just to be rich. Then again if I won the lottery or a billionaire asked to support me I’d drop everything and go with the flow…. Nobody’s perfect. lol.
Hmmm.. this is just a long vent. I just felt stress trying to answer the questions. I over think everything.
Cheers,A
Values
What do I make a point to do/not do?
- buy quality, even if expensive
- be aware of the wider affects of actions and how others are affected
- make sure I’m clear with everyone (explain myself)
- follow instructions accurately
What angers/upsets me?
- When people don’t notice/value others reactions or needs.
- Not having expectations met.
- At others irrational reactions
- When I can’t explain myself or others won’t listen
- Being teased
- Stupid people in otherwise obvious situations
- Having people/socializing forced on me
- Following ridiculous rules
- Cleaning house/doing dishes 🙂
- When others cause inconvenience for me (I’m talking big willful obstructions by people who don’t pay attention to the damage they do)
- Not being taken at my word/believed
- People who cannot follow instructions
- Secretiveness, not knowing
When am I happy?
- When I leave work (just a reflection of a 800 hour week, and there actually being plants and light in my apartment)
- When I’ve bought something beautiful, classic and permanent
- Organizing and making something more efficient/simple
- With a really good book
- When I’m fit and my clothes fit properly
- When I wake early and feel fresh and alert
Favorite animal?
Really? Three toed tree sloth. They’re odd looking, but elegant in their movement, deliberate in a beautiful way but seem cuddly and harmless all the same. (But people see those 3 inch claws and don’t mess with them, anyway) 🙂
Favorite activity?
Reading. Decorating/rearranging furniture. Dreaming/daydreaming.
What determines my value?
Me… Before – depression. Now – defiance.
Two more peak experiences?
You’re killing me with this question…..
I may not always have time to comment, but I am reading all your posts. It’s interesting how so many of the things that anger or upset you are the same triggers for me.
Thank you 🙂 Some of them are long, so I wonder if anyone reads. haha.
Really? That IS interesting. I wonder why? I think some of them are things that bug anyone, but then working here there are SO many things that I think should bug everyone but nobody seems to notice so I wonder if it’s just me. I really cannot deal with allowing things to slide if they should be addressed, but I work somewhere where it’s not kosher to point out the flaws. Crazy!
I imagine it’s a good exercise to write out your values. Really makes one examine him or herself more closely. I’ve never done something like this. Makes sense. Then again, I know I won’t. It’s one of those things I think is a good idea, and then I get busy with other stuff and move on. 🙂
Hi 🙂 It’s like journaling, I think. Where you think and feel and believe things all the time but when you write them all down and look at the package you really SEE it all. Doing these exercises, for me, helped me to categorize and organize all the thoughts into an order that makes me see them differently and allows me to actually utilize them towards the purpose of the coaching, rather than me just bitching about what bugs me. It helps separate the values from the complaints, the really important from the that-just-bugs-me’s.
I know what you mean. It’s very hard for me to do some of these exercises. Mainly because I work so much and want my free time to be whatever I want to do, so having a task (even though it’s one I WANT to do)…it’s hard. But once it’s on paper it’s no longer this emotional thing swirling in my brain the rest of the time, so it’s actually freed up time for me. Ah, relativity. hehehe 🙂
I have a friend here who I suggested do the exercises with me as I do them, because he’s not interested in coaching, and he can sort of figure out himself along the way. (Knowing he has no plan or interest in changing careers or jobs) His response was that he wouldn’t be able to do it because he knows his answers would only be what he thinks he’s expected to say or what the intended audience expects. He literally wouldn’t be able to come up with true core answers even if he never told anyone else what they were. I found that interesting too.
I agree–I think it would be eye-opening to see them laid out objectively. Unlike your friend, I think I could be honest with it. Sounds like a good task for a plane ride. You know, for that time frame where you’re not allowed to use electronics. I could sketch out my values in a notebook while I wait to turn my iPad back on. 🙂
do it! 🙂